去年的这一周，我非常勤奋的工作。其中一次就从早上六点工作至午夜十二点。很少有这样的“机会”……
过了一年了，虽然时过境迁，但有些回忆始终挥之不去。当时，接到电话时，我除了说一声“ok”，什么也没说。直到放下电话后，才觉得怅惘。那时的感触在我心中留下了深深的烙印。
今天早上听到志勇叙述了以下的访谈，他竟然说不下去，我也差一点听不下去。过后的“不完美”也差点让我的眼泪流了下来。
以下是这位先生这一年来的心情……
女律师孟买恐怖袭击遇害一周年
迈克：我还没有走出来
虽然两个月前就开始约这个访问，不过，当记者前天下午在市区的一家咖啡馆见到迈克时，还是有点不太相信这个穿着条纹衬衫、手拿着手机和名牌钱包、快步从对街银行办公楼走出来的法律主管就是一年前在众人面前崩溃的遇害女律师卢慧燕的丈夫。
是的，时间一转眼过去了，明天就是在孟买酒店遭恐怖分子无情杀害的卢慧燕的一周年忌日。
之前华文媒体把Michael Puhaindran的名字翻译成麦克，这次他才说，原来他的华文名叫“迈克”，他说，“迈”是迈进、进步；“克”是克服。
见面时，他双眼有点微肿，皮肤晒得长雀斑，不过气色还算不错。他语速很快，或许因为是律师，他的修辞功力很高，同一个意思用好几种表达方式，说到伤心处也很有逻辑地加以解释。
理智剖析一年来的生活
跟一年前的当众痛哭不一样，这次迈克不但没有掉泪，甚至适时调侃自己，说完了呵呵笑起来，唯一哽住的时候也只是稍微红了眼眶。
38岁的他很理智地剖析了自己这一年来走过的悲伤、起伏和生活的种种，仿佛在述说别人的故事一样条理分明，仿佛他已经走出伤痛。
但同时，他又感性地给自己的现状定调。他坦承自己并没有走出来，“我不要也不想……要不是朋友和父母，我不想他们承受我所承受的痛，我会跟着慧燕去的，现在还没有找到（活着）的意义和目的。”
去年11月，卢慧燕到孟买出席一个法律座谈会，下榻奥拜罗三叉戟酒店，结果那里被恐怖分子包围，她被掳为人质并遭杀害。
卢慧燕逝世时28岁，成了第一个在国外死于恐怖袭击的国人，她穿着白色婚纱的美丽模样连续好多天出现在报章，她和丈夫的幸福故事也让人无限感伤。
迈克：世界完全变了样
这一年来，大家继续生活，可是迈克的世界却完全变了样，他说，自己愿意接受访问，其中一个主要原因是想感谢大家的帮助。
他透露，刚开始时，周围的将近50个亲友为了不让他胡思乱想，排了班表每天轮流陪他，包括慧燕的朋友，这样一连维持了好几个月。
“周末两个班。午餐一个人，晚餐一个人，有时候是跟三四个人一群，看跟谁出去就做不同的事。起初我并不知道这样的安排，不过很快就意识到了。”
他一直都住在和卢慧燕同筑在东部的爱巢，他说，起初弟弟晚上会去陪他，后来他要求自己睡，他需要那样的独处的空间。“那个时候我才能感受到痛，好像是跟她心灵交会的时候。”
他也记得，起初有很多人写电邮给他，大约有一两千封，结果他的邮箱爆满。Facebook的追思页面上，现在也已有近1万5000个网友。“有些外国人还寄电邮来，他们也说了关于失去（亲人）的经历，现在我还跟其中一些人保持联络，成了网友。”
事发时，他其实已经辞掉之前的工作，在到新的银行工作之前有两个星期休息，事发后，他也只是多休息了两个星期就上班，他知道自己应该走出户外。
大约一两个月后，他开始强迫自己运动，比如星期三打壁球、星期六骑脚踏车、星期天踢足球，甚至重新开始潜水。他也开始让生活恢复节奏，比如星期二跟慧燕家人吃饭、星期四和星期六跟自己的家人。
他还做家务，整理房间，把一些慧燕的衣服和包包送人，但他说，她的衣服还是挂满了衣橱。
整体的状况是，他的情绪从早期的流于表面，到现在比较“内化”，也更深刻。
在访问过程中，迈克唯一停顿的时候是谈到他到土耳其拜访一对年迈夫妇——事发时跟慧燕一起被捉，有幸被释放，他们有个年纪跟慧燕相仿的女儿。“他们没有说太多，老太太一直握住慧燕的手……”
记者问他，哪一段日子是心情最低落的时候，他说，心情时起时落，晚上老是无法安眠。
“我每天每秒都在体会那种痛，所以有时觉得日子过得很慢，但又觉得好像是昨天才发生的。”
明天下午3时，迈克将在慧燕安息的天使之后天主教堂（Church of St Mary of the Angels，位于武吉巴督东2道）举办追思会。迈克说，这是个私人追思会，不希望太多公众前来。
记者与迈克的一些问与答
问：有什么心愿是你想为亡妻完成的？
答：她想要做的是我无法替她完成的，因为我们明年想要个孩子（哈哈），想要买个房子。就是两口子做的事，我自己做就有点难。
问：你走在街上曾被人认出来吗？
答：以前有，不过并没有什么人跟我打招呼。话说回来，我不怎么去那些吵闹的地方比如购物中心（我还没去过Ion Orchard）、夜店和高级餐厅，因为那是以前常跟慧燕做的事。我一直住在东部，刚开始时，我甚至连吃饭都坚持只在东部，那里是我的安全地带。
问：每逢一些特别的日子，如她的生日或结婚纪念日，你都会在Facebook留言，比如F1的时候，你说去年跟她看的，今年的F1你去看了吗？
答：今年我故意没去看F1，只是看了电视转播的最后半小时。我现在也不怎么喝红酒和香槟，而是改喝威士忌，因为这是以前她不太喝的。
问：没去购物，没怎么打扮自己，你看起来还不错。
答：我没有特地去打扮，只是尽量不要让自己太邋遢，慧燕如果知道你称赞我，她会很高兴的，因为她总是比较在乎这方面。如果可以的话，我也只想穿汗衫百慕达裤。除了年初去美国探望弟弟时到工厂直销买了些衣服，今年还真的没买过衣服。
(以上取之11月26日联合早报）
Friday, November 27, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Justus' wedding
Absolutely enjoyed Justus' wedding today!
It was a great time of catching up with people all the way since secondary school! And come to think of it, all of us have known each other for 13 years! Woo hoo! So happy and high today! For all of us, it's the first time that we drank so much for a lunch banquet. There were three bottoms up with just too much alcohol in each glass. At the end of it, we were just too high that we asked for two rounds of Chinese tea. Really funny. A lot of laughter and joy. Happy for Justus and glad to see everyone.
It was a great time of catching up with people all the way since secondary school! And come to think of it, all of us have known each other for 13 years! Woo hoo! So happy and high today! For all of us, it's the first time that we drank so much for a lunch banquet. There were three bottoms up with just too much alcohol in each glass. At the end of it, we were just too high that we asked for two rounds of Chinese tea. Really funny. A lot of laughter and joy. Happy for Justus and glad to see everyone.
Yong Kwang with his prawn in a rose. All of us were too high by then. I couldn't even focus.
A table photo but without the groom! Sigh...
Monday, November 09, 2009
Renovation works
Weet!
Really happy to be home on a Monday night. Had planned to go to the gym tonight since Joshua is having his off day on Wednesday (Wednesday is my usual gym day) but decided to call it off. I was just too tired. I slept at 4am on Friday and Saturday and woke up five hours later and I slept at 1am on Sunday. I was really tired. In fact, I was waiting for time to pass so that I could knock off since I finished my stuff in the morning and my meeting in the afternoon was called off.
Anyway, some updates about my house. Renovation works started last week!
Here's a look at the before and after.
Really happy to be home on a Monday night. Had planned to go to the gym tonight since Joshua is having his off day on Wednesday (Wednesday is my usual gym day) but decided to call it off. I was just too tired. I slept at 4am on Friday and Saturday and woke up five hours later and I slept at 1am on Sunday. I was really tired. In fact, I was waiting for time to pass so that I could knock off since I finished my stuff in the morning and my meeting in the afternoon was called off.
Anyway, some updates about my house. Renovation works started last week!
Here's a look at the before and after.
Living Room
Master Bedroom
Dining Room
Basically, there was a lot of hacking. The false ceilings were all removed, including the timber skirting. All that is left is what you see. So, there will be a lot of plastering work to be done. The air conditioner will be installed tomorrow and painting works will begin soon!
Can't wait for the house to be done!
Thursday, November 05, 2009
Scholars
A recent family event left me reeling with the scholars from my extended family. The rest of the cousins, like me, who were non-scholars were disgusted with those "elites". But then again, we are thankful that although we may not have the IQ, we have the EQ which is far more important. Now, Eddie Teo (Chairman, Public Service Commission) came up with this speech on scholars. Agree with him in some points. The speech is ten pages long, read it if you have the time. Below is the report from The Straits Times:
MOST of the current generation of young scholars are responsible and dedicated, but a few have a poor attitude and misplaced expectations. Some are very choosy about their postings and tend to place their personal interest above organisational interest, said chairman of the Public Service Commission Eddie Teo.
'Many Management Associates or MAs want to go to Ministry of Trade and Industry or Ministry of Finance for their first postings and get upset if they are posted elsewhere. One was so upset that he resigned, breaking his bond,' said Mr Teo, in an address to some 350 scholarship holders from 27 public agencies at the annual Singapore Seminar in London on Oct 31.
'When some young MAs were asked to go to NTUC to observe retrenchment exercises and learn about what impact the current economic recession is having on ordinary Singaporeans, one MA asked 'What is a retrenchment exercise?''
Mr Teo raised this to highlight why the Public Service is concerned about this group of young scholars who are seeking to advance only their self-interest, as 'it indicates that they may be unable to work in a team.' He is also worried that if fewer and fewer young scholars desire ground postings, more of them may become divorced from ground issues and will start to lose their empathy for ordinary Singaporeans.
But Mr Teo hastened to add: 'The problem is not yet so widespread that it cannot be rolled back. There is still time for the Public Service to correct the trend.'
In his speech, titled 'Defending Scholarships but not all Scholars', Mr Teo dwelt on bond breaking and attrition of scholars, two emerging trends in Singapore's scholarship system, as well as addressed the question on whether the Government is giving out too many scholarships and not enough bursaries for students from poorer backgrounds.
http://www.straitstimes.com/STI/STIMEDIA/pdf/20091104/speecheddieteo.pdf
MOST of the current generation of young scholars are responsible and dedicated, but a few have a poor attitude and misplaced expectations. Some are very choosy about their postings and tend to place their personal interest above organisational interest, said chairman of the Public Service Commission Eddie Teo.
'Many Management Associates or MAs want to go to Ministry of Trade and Industry or Ministry of Finance for their first postings and get upset if they are posted elsewhere. One was so upset that he resigned, breaking his bond,' said Mr Teo, in an address to some 350 scholarship holders from 27 public agencies at the annual Singapore Seminar in London on Oct 31.
'When some young MAs were asked to go to NTUC to observe retrenchment exercises and learn about what impact the current economic recession is having on ordinary Singaporeans, one MA asked 'What is a retrenchment exercise?''
Mr Teo raised this to highlight why the Public Service is concerned about this group of young scholars who are seeking to advance only their self-interest, as 'it indicates that they may be unable to work in a team.' He is also worried that if fewer and fewer young scholars desire ground postings, more of them may become divorced from ground issues and will start to lose their empathy for ordinary Singaporeans.
But Mr Teo hastened to add: 'The problem is not yet so widespread that it cannot be rolled back. There is still time for the Public Service to correct the trend.'
In his speech, titled 'Defending Scholarships but not all Scholars', Mr Teo dwelt on bond breaking and attrition of scholars, two emerging trends in Singapore's scholarship system, as well as addressed the question on whether the Government is giving out too many scholarships and not enough bursaries for students from poorer backgrounds.
http://www.straitstimes.com/STI/STIMEDIA/pdf/20091104/speecheddieteo.pdf
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Bad customer service
Joshua and I went to a foreign bank last week to apply for a renovation loan. We chose the bank simply because it offered the lowest interest rates. Other than that, there would be no other reason for me to step into the bank at all.
Anyway, my first impression of the Relationship Manager I met was not good. Well, he was a tall lanky guy, well dressed but not sharp at all. Halfway into our session with him, I seriously started to think if I should get someone else. For every question I asked, he had to go out to ask his colleague. What about knowing your work?! Even if you are a rookie, at least will know something right?! Anyway, the last straw came when he said we couldn't apply as joint applicants as we are not married! Hello?!?!? I brought along our ROM registration form to certify that we are getting married on 5 Dec! I turned towards Joshua and told him to call a friend of ours who I was very sure was not married when he and his then fiancee applied for the renovation loan. I was right! The RM then called his colleagues upstairs and confirmed that we could apply for the loan.
Fast forward to Monday, our loan was approved and Joshua and I was there to sign the letter of offer. I was early and Joshua was still on his way. I went into the bank and looked for the RM. He said I looked different because I was standing up and because the last time he saw me I was sitting down. *Roll eyes*
If you have nothing better to say, do not say anything. I'll be fine even if you talk to me about the weather.
I started reading the letter of offer and I was barely into the first paragraph when I realised that something was wrong. We applied for a fixed interest rate loan, not a floating one! The RM went into the "Oh no, this has never happened before, how did this happen"? As if I could answer his question. Duh.
I asked the RM what could be done. He had to check with his colleague. Nothing new about that. He came back and told me that I would have to come back on Tuesday as the bank needed one day to make the amendments! So... I raised my voice. It was totally unacceptable. How could they waste my time like this?! I made my way to the bank because they said the documents were ready and for goodness sake, the letter of offer has a standard template. Why would they need one day to recalculate, or change whatsoever?! I told the RM that I wanted the changes made within the next hour and that I was not going to waste my time and effort to come back another day. Shouldn't he check the document before I come?! So, he told me to have lunch first since I am hungry and he was hungry too! Who cares about him being hungry?! My goodness. Mind you, there was NO apology from him.
Sigh... There is still a part 2 to this but I have no energy to write a long long essay. The good thing? The loan is approved, I collected the cheques and I do not need to go back to the bank for the longest of times.
Anyway, my first impression of the Relationship Manager I met was not good. Well, he was a tall lanky guy, well dressed but not sharp at all. Halfway into our session with him, I seriously started to think if I should get someone else. For every question I asked, he had to go out to ask his colleague. What about knowing your work?! Even if you are a rookie, at least will know something right?! Anyway, the last straw came when he said we couldn't apply as joint applicants as we are not married! Hello?!?!? I brought along our ROM registration form to certify that we are getting married on 5 Dec! I turned towards Joshua and told him to call a friend of ours who I was very sure was not married when he and his then fiancee applied for the renovation loan. I was right! The RM then called his colleagues upstairs and confirmed that we could apply for the loan.
Fast forward to Monday, our loan was approved and Joshua and I was there to sign the letter of offer. I was early and Joshua was still on his way. I went into the bank and looked for the RM. He said I looked different because I was standing up and because the last time he saw me I was sitting down. *Roll eyes*
If you have nothing better to say, do not say anything. I'll be fine even if you talk to me about the weather.
I started reading the letter of offer and I was barely into the first paragraph when I realised that something was wrong. We applied for a fixed interest rate loan, not a floating one! The RM went into the "Oh no, this has never happened before, how did this happen"? As if I could answer his question. Duh.
I asked the RM what could be done. He had to check with his colleague. Nothing new about that. He came back and told me that I would have to come back on Tuesday as the bank needed one day to make the amendments! So... I raised my voice. It was totally unacceptable. How could they waste my time like this?! I made my way to the bank because they said the documents were ready and for goodness sake, the letter of offer has a standard template. Why would they need one day to recalculate, or change whatsoever?! I told the RM that I wanted the changes made within the next hour and that I was not going to waste my time and effort to come back another day. Shouldn't he check the document before I come?! So, he told me to have lunch first since I am hungry and he was hungry too! Who cares about him being hungry?! My goodness. Mind you, there was NO apology from him.
Sigh... There is still a part 2 to this but I have no energy to write a long long essay. The good thing? The loan is approved, I collected the cheques and I do not need to go back to the bank for the longest of times.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)