If you can see it, you can have it.

A fresh vision. A fresh focus. The power of visualisation. Dream it.

Full of angst

The papers say that there is a pay increment of 8 to 18%. The circular that the ministries received was a salary increment of UP TO 6%. I am sore about that "up to" because it means you can get less than that.

Feeling highly agitated. Tsk.

此地不宜久留

I just had a company retreat today. Seriously, it was disappointing. I know his emphasis was not to turn it into a complaint session, but I did not expect him to take the whole session in such a manner. I was disappointed with the retreat and disappointed with what he said. Were my expectations too high? Perhaps, this is why I feel so disappointed. Yes, it is my first retreat and I didn't know what to expect, and maybe this is why...

If you feel that we can only be editors, we are overpaid and division two officers can do our work, why hire us? I do not need you to put us down and butter us up after that. It doesn't work this way and I am not the least convinced or convicted by what you have said. Yes, I am a civil servant and I need to provide service but I provide service to the nation and not to your so called "uncomfortable officers". You said that we should not work for money. I agree but I also need money to paid my bills, provide for my family and money is used on a daily basis. Just because I serve the nation, it doesn't mean that I do not need to feed myself. You think we are overpaid. The fact that you think that way means that you do not know my scheme of service at all. The fact is, my salary is 16 to 20 percent lower than the market rate and why "invent a new scheme" when I am already pegged to this scheme. It just shows how much you know about my scheme.

I know I need to leave this place. As for when, I do not know yet. But that day will come.

一个人

This song doesn't reflect what I am feeling now but I really love this new song by Jolin Tsai. I felt that she really sang it quite well, emotions, etc, everything was in place...

从皮包里扯出我们的照片

沙发要移到客厅的另一边

晚饭后你可以多抽几口香烟

已经没什么人会埋怨

晴天阴天今天又是星期天

唯一的打算是醒得晚一些

反正我不知道怎样打发时间

出门或不出门没差别

一个人到底应该睡右边或左边

两个人连一次争吵都值得纪念

一个人偶尔感到寂寞再所难免

你的气味还留在枕头边

一个人我重新适应一切不方便

两个人不一定就成全一个世界

一个人关灯看见记忆的横切面

没有光线过去那些情节更明显

阿岳'Live'音乐会

Went to NTU for Zhang Zhengyue's live campus concert on Friday. PY had contacts who knew the execs in Rock Records and so we got in without tix! Haha. Anyway, Zhang Zhengyue was really awesome. He sang eight songs, four from the latest album and four from his previous albums. Have always thought that he is very talented and that his songs are a little 另类。In the end, I realise that he is just someone who loves music and just wants to make music. That's all he cares about. Concerts, autograph sessions, going on air to promote his album, etc are just obligations as an artiste. Looking at his nonchalant attitude during the autograph session and you know why. In fact, except for a five to ten minute interview with Peifen, he didn't even interact with the audience. Sounds aloof? I like. Ha.

Anyway, his band is exactly like him. Two acoustic guitars (including Zhang Zhengyue's), a bassist and a drummer. That's all. What resulted was a 'clean' sound. No electric guitars, no effects, no frills. Everything was just simple and nice. No off keys, no out of tune singing, everything was on the beat. He's good man. Really enjoyed the concert. He's coming back next year for a full-fledged concert. I want to go.

我在气头上

我现在还在气头上。

和某人说话时，某人以蛮强烈的字眼说你的不是。我听了虽然感到很爽但还是觉得用词似乎太强烈，结果某人笑我。

不管怎样，我现在还在气头上。不管是犹豫不决，不够资金或思想狭小，我还是不能苟同。

Updates

Hey folks!

Haven't been blogging for the past three weeks cos I've been busy. Busy with work, CG events, watching Youtube (haha!), blah blah blah...

Anyway, work has really been piling up and the first day I went back to work after my week long holiday was full of angst. I went into the office, opened up my email and realised that my inbox had exceeded the threshold. To think that I had deleted dozens of emails before I left. Apparently, it wasn't enough. Oh yeah, I was full of angst by the end of the day. I mean, since I am away for five days, I do expect my covering officer to cover for me right? Guess what? My covering officer left things as it was and sent me something like "so and so said that he can wait till you're back to do this"! Hello?! Anyone home?! It was just a simple finance request and you want me to do it when I come back?! It was such a simple issue, uploading needs five to ten minutes and if KNN is around, everything would be approved within an hour! So you need wait five days for this?! It is no wonder that people call my covering officer a dinosaur and parasite (ok, 'parasite' - I said it).

So like what I said, I was full of angst right? By the end of the day I was lamenting endlessly and I didn't even know that KNN had walked in and heard me lamenting. So I told him I was full of angst. He asked why. I said "because your officers drive me up the wall". He said I had to be zen about it! I mean, how can I be zen when they are driving me up the wall?! PY told KNN that lamenting, or rather complaining keeps us sane otherwise we might go insane. I totally agree. With that, KNN had nothing to say. Haha. *evil grin*

Then, I had to do budget planning, business plan, was appointed operations manager. Man, I don't know what is that. Promotion? I don't think so. Its more about becoming a point of contact. Whatever it is, all these are foreign to me and I am still learning. Let's just hope that I won't be weighed down by all the red tape. Because it will just slow me down. Btw, did I mention that IES is hiring? Still thinking if I should go for it. Then its time to update my resume! But somehow, I don't feel the timing is right. How?! Screams!

And yes, 'kongsi' irritate me again. Since his last attempt to sabotage me did not work out, he was out to do it again. But, I've learned my lesson. I've learnt how to deal with him. Presentation? How many times do I need to tell him that KNN says that I do not have to do it? And you have to keep on asking me? I mean, if KNN says I do not have to do it, it means I do not have to do it. In case he forgets, my direct boss is KNN, the number one man in the department, so whatever he says counts. Since you want to irritate me I just have to deal with you shrewdly. I went to KNN's office, asked him once and for all if I had to do the presentation, he said no, told him that I was fed up with queries from 'kongsi', said thank you and stormed up of his office, wrote a email to 'kongsi' and cc-ed KNN. Needless to say, kongsi acknowledged the decision that I do not have to present.

你做初一，我做十五。我不是个坏人，但在必要的情况下，我绝对会懂得怎么对付你。

Anyway, there are still lotsa things I want to say but I guess this is enough rambling on my work. Ta da!